While families often look forward to holiday reunions, special meals, and busy activities, a person living with memory loss can easily experience the holidays as a time of confusion. Bright, unfamiliar holiday lights and decorations make the house feel different. Music and conversations constantly compete for attention. Relatives, not seen for many months, expect to be recognized. Serving large meals later than usual and extending events into late evenings disrupts a comforting, predictable schedule.
None of this is a failure of love. It is what happens when the loved one with dementia relies on familiar cues that are no longer present; often there is too much stimulation, which can create anxiety. Schedule changes, noise, unfamiliar visitors, and late evenings can create agitation, appetite loss, and sleep disruption.
What to change before you cancel the holiday
The question is not “Can we still have Christmas?” It is “What version of this day can our loved one enjoy?” Many families find that an early, short meal with two or three familiar people works when a house full of cousins does not. Visitors can come in shifts. One person can sit with your loved one while others talk in another room. A quiet chair and an exit plan matter more than a perfect table. Keep the routines your loved one is familiar with. Feed your loved one at the usual hour, rather than making them wait for the big meal. Introduce yourself and others by name and relationship: “I’m Ann, your daughter.” Continue to get outdoors for walks; bundle up if needed.
How the Day Center helps
The Susan J. Rheem Adult Day Center serves adults living with memory loss, Alzheimer’s disease, and other dementias, as well as other illnesses and disabilities. The environment is happy, warm, and welcoming, featuring bright, open spaces, a patio, walking paths, and a beautiful therapeutic garden with a sparkling fountain. Person-centered care focuses on what participants can do and helps them enjoy the benefits of a routine, nutritious food, and socialization, which are so important during the holidays. The caregiver also benefits from time away from the responsibilities of caregiving and can enjoy much-needed and appreciated respite.
If you are hosting visitors from out of town
Brief your visitors before they walk in. Tell them that recognition may not come, that one conversation at a time is enough, and that leaving early is a kindness. Invite them to see the Center if your loved one attends, so they understand the weekday world you are protecting. Do not use the visit as a referendum on whether “Mom is still herself.” She is. We need to get into her world and affirm her.
How to learn more
If holiday gatherings have created anxiety or tears, perhaps a structured day program would benefit your loved one. Call The Susan J. Rheem Adult Day Center at (928) 775-3563 and speak with Program Director Laura Dreibelbis. Adult Care Services also operates The Margaret T. Morris Center, northern Arizona’s only assisted living community dedicated solely to dementia care. Call today and let the conversation begin.
Adult Care Services: (928) 771-2335.
